I have been made a fool of by the love that I have. I have been taken on a journey of regret and mishap all because I fell and had that life-altering, adoring feeling which lit up my life. I made an error in judgement and in doing so may just have ruined everything that was left in my life that was not already broken.
I am a fool; in the eyes of my friends, the eyes of my partner and my own eyes.
I was a fool for him and now I am a fool of misfortune, hurt and vicious rumours.
I need to escape. My ties have all lost meaning and the grey that creeps into the lives of those who are unfortunate; the grey that consumes and kills the heart, mind and souls of the damned, this grey has been creeping ever so slowly into the sharp edges of my vision. Creeping and marking my movements with the intent to kill me, next. It is different from Black and White, it is the passion, pain and dangerous inbetween that you lose yourself in. I am a lost soul.
I have a plan of action, several in fact. As ever, I am just awaiting a decision. As ever, I worry that this may be my last endeavor in issues of the heart because, if this is coming to an end... I refuse to let anyone in again. I refuse to hurt this way, yet again. Nobody deserves the same mistakes twice, yet some are unlucky. Three times, on the other hand, would be a death sentance and i'm too young to die.
Ta-Rah.
Love, always CBC xXx
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