To Fly Over The Rainbow xXx

There is a part of my soul that wants to fly free. Now, I don't know how much of it is due to my current circumstances but what I do know, is that it has always been present in my thoughts.

I always knew I was born to fly away. I've always felt like the Teddy left on the shelf; left wanting to explore. Feeling like the child's poem of the Dickie Birds; Pete and Paul, that only got to fly away because they were told to. However, this want has grown, slowly but surely into a flowering need to blossom and climb towards the sun.
A need of adventure.
A need to be lost.
A need for a different life.

I think this is common; at least it's common in films and books when the narrative always shows a female's angst and loss of faith in the world. This is not to say that I have lost faith in the world, more that I've never had a faith or belief and have grown accustomed to clinging to any hope that I may find. That would be something that I think has to change.

Poem

The Leaves Fall With Grace And Charm
Carving A Pattern Of Pain.
Not Looking At What's Left Behind
Yet Always Hoping To Be Reclaimed.

A Sonnet Spoken Softly,
Hiding The Truth In Your Words.
A Lover That Was Left On The Sidelines
Who Never Even Heard.

The Resounding Drop
When A Flower Descends.
With A Lifetime Of Memories
It's Just A Quick Move To The End.

The Death Of Love, Seen Too Soon,
While The Cowboy Sits In The Last Chance Saloon.
Original Poem By CBC ^.^ - (TM)


Anyway, That is all.
Ta-rah! Love always, CBC ^-^ xxx

If You Just Smile...

It is the strangest sensation to enter the world from someone elses eyes. However, to read the map of your life told from within the binds of a novel or in the sad lines of a song, is a mystical anomaly which happens frequently.

This is my life right now; the book  that I happen to be reading reflects perfectly the ridges and bends in my own tale. In my own life.

My perfectly happy state of love in my relationship has been crumbling for a long time now, and I seem unable to unfasten the straps that keep me bound here, but also unable to recapture or rekindle our feelings.

I am in limbo.
WE are in limbo.

What is worse, is the fact that I can tell no-one. Some of my friends have been lost due to this relationship and others are telling the world they'd do anything for him... Which stands to reason that if this all blew up, I'd have lost everyone. All that mattered.

 Deep down, however, I know nothing is an end. It is all just a new beginning and this could quite easily be the opening of something spectacular in my life. I will never be afraid of what is to be because, there is always a move to play. Our game never ends until you admit defeat, or death enslaves you. I am at neither of those options in my life and so I shall continue to smile and strive for my own Happily-Ever-After.

Ta-rah! Love CBC ^^ xXx

"One Can't Believe Impossible Things"

I Picked Up Your Pieces And
I Tied On Your Smile.
I Was There For You
In The Dark Of Night
But Now I'm Alone
And You're No-Where In Sight.

I've Been Trapped In A Bubble
- Scared Of The Inevitable Break.
I've Fallen Down The Rabbit Hole
Lost My Way And Like Alice
I'm Unable To Wake.

You're Out Of Love,
It Took A While To Admit.
I'm Losing
And My Piece
Just Doesn't
Seem To Fit.

*Original Poem by CBC (TM)



Ta-rah... Love CBC xXx

Goodnight, Beautiful.

I have been made a fool of by the love that I have. I have been taken on a journey of regret and mishap all because I fell and had that life-altering, adoring feeling which lit up my life. I made an error in judgement and in doing so may just have ruined everything that was left in my life that was not already broken.

I am a fool; in the eyes of my friends, the eyes of my partner and my own eyes.
I was a fool for him and now I am a fool of misfortune, hurt and vicious rumours.
I need to escape. My ties have all lost meaning and the grey that creeps into the lives of those who are unfortunate; the grey that consumes and kills the heart, mind and souls of the damned, this grey has been creeping ever so slowly into the sharp edges of my vision. Creeping and marking my movements with the intent to kill me, next. It is different from Black and White, it is the passion, pain and dangerous inbetween that you lose yourself in. I am a lost soul.

I have a plan of action, several in fact. As ever, I am just awaiting a decision. As ever, I worry that this may be my last endeavor in issues of the heart because, if this is coming to an end... I refuse to let anyone in again. I refuse to hurt this way, yet again. Nobody deserves the same mistakes twice, yet some are unlucky. Three times, on the other hand, would be a death sentance and i'm too young to die.

Ta-Rah.
Love, always CBC xXx

Celebration Time xXx

A celebration is engaging and participating in an act of festivities in a particular or specific event or place of residence. To celebrate is an acknowledgement of a link or belief in the act in which is being celebrated.

I have had the most amazingly perfect and completely happy day that I ever remember happening for as far back as I can recall. This day has replayed itself on several occaisions in several different situations and structures in the last few months or so. It is the simple things that make those days perfect. It is the simple things that stay with me.

An unexpected and sudden run, carried back in the lightly falling snow.

Tears running down your face through an undesired outcome in a film or book, met by a kiss and a loving and firm hug.

Romance.

Love.

Happiness.

I am floating around on cloud nine. My mission is to corrupt the world and make it fall in love... Even though it is dangerous and can hurt... It is the most honest, brave and amazing feeling in the entire world.
Ta-rah!
Love CBC xxx

Just My Luck

I forget sometimes how good my life has been. I mean, it's natural for teenagers and young adults to feel hard done by. It's natural for people to feel they've been dealt a terrible hand in life. However, I look back over what I've done and all that I've seen and I realise, I've been very lucky.


I've traveled to Spain three times; to two different areas. The North and South of Spain.

The South was very hot and was bathed in sunshine all the time; at night time the air was still very humid. There were various beaches and gorgeous shores. It was dotted with glorious visions and sites of perfection....
... The North was also very breath-taking to visit. It was covered with trees and wildlife. It was mountainous and provoked adventure and courage to all who were there.


I've also had a fantastic trip to France. I attended with my school and so had a full agenda during this trip and it truly was an amazing experience. Thanks to the college we managed to view some of the tourist sites as well as some less well known places.

So, I know I'm privileged. I know I've had a lot of memories and experiences that I should be very grateful for.
I have a brilliant family. A vast family. A happy family life. I have the best boyfriend I could imagine and the most caring and sentimental freindships I  could ever hope for. I'm a college student going into her third year and doing well. How could someone with so much going for them complain? How could I, not be smiling; not be happy; not be joyful to the world?

 Just a happy rant. ^.^ Ta-rah!
Love CBC xxx

Whipped like Butter xXx

We see it in films and novels often enough. The type of courageous act that many people do without thought, without realising the repercussions of it. The type of moment that, to a girl, is easy to pull forward through the folds of time and mark as the beginning.

It has many names to show this realisation; whipped, taken, in love. It is a gesture that brings forth many different oxymorons. The part in your life when you put a juxtaposition on time and faith. The spontaneity of a well thought out plan.

Something that doesn't weigh much, feeling heavier than any other peice of jewelry because of it's meaning; the hidden messages it holds - I love you; i'm yours; you mean this much to me. The moments that can either make or break you - physically or psychologically.

POEM ^.^

A Necklace Hangs,
Keeping Me Bound,
Alone I Am Lost,
With You - I Am Found.

Our Initials Welcome,
For All To See,
A Ring Proudly Shown,
Binding You To Me.

Three Words On My Lips,
A Question In The Air,
A Life Time It Took,
To Show You I Care.

As You Leant Closer, You Already Knew,
That I Would Say "I Love You".

*Original by CBC (TM)

Anyway, I'm off now. Ta-rah!
Love CBC xxx